Since last writing I've:
- Spent the most incredible week working with children living in poverty. They taught me SO MUCH. Some of their houses are little more than pieces of tin with dirt floors yet their dreams are mansions. They love and give freely. I miss them. When I left they said such wonderful things like, "I love you," "I'll miss you," "I'm going to remember you," and, from the boy who gave me the most trouble all week long: "you're a good person." I'm crying writing this and thinking about their sweet little personalities. I miss them so. And pray for them. And am committed to being more like them. So if I haven't told you recently, I love you. I miss you. I remember you. You're a good person. And yes. I'm talking to you.
Lord, make me more like a child.
“Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:3
"See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are." - 1 John 3:1
- Saw Harry Potter in both English and Spanish! It was fun to see in a theater full of Ticos. They're all very animated movie watchers. It's like watching a movie with a bunch of clones of my brother.
- Said goodbye to some girls I had grown close to. Most people stay in Costa Rica less than ten weeks and, with the exception of two girls staying twelve weeks, myself and my friend JaQuanna (the other 10 week-er) are the ones who have been here the longest. In some ways it feels like people come, people go, and the four of us stay.
- Visited the beautiful beach of Malpais. It's on the Pacific side located at the tip of the peninsula. Another breath-taking excursion complete with bus and boat rides, hostel stay, and seeing a beach devoid of man's influence and overflowing with the knowledge of God.
"Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well...
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You." - Psalm 139 excerpts
- Was violently sick puking my guts out with a "bacterial intestinal infection". After two shots, two types of pills, and some nasty drinking meds, I'm 100 percent again. I've gotten to know the doctor's office really well and Spanish was easier for me than the previous time when I was sick so that's a bright side to the picture! Costa Rica just apparently likes to give me stomach bugs. Pura vida. ;)
- Spent Sundays worshiping with and falling more and more in love with the church in Alajuela. Numerous Sundays I've been blessed to take other girls from the university to Alajuela with me and they all talk about how very sweet and precious the brethren are. They have blessed all of us so. I love being silly with them, learning from them, spending afternoons with them, listening to them, and worshiping with them. I want to put them all in my suitcase and take them home with me. This coming Sunday will be my last one in Costa Rica. It will be so hard to say goodbye.
- Fallen more in love with my sweet madre. I can't believe that in two weeks I'll be leaving her. She's impacted my life and changed me for the better and I thank God for having used her in my life. Ubelia is an amazing woman and I can't think about leaving her without crying. August 13th will be hard.
- Had more fun adventures exploring Heredia and San Jose along with finally completing souvenir purchases for my peeps back home. Success. Also, lots of coffee. And lots of food. My stomach has expanded exponentially in the past eight weeks. I eat so much here, it's ridiculous.
Costa Rica has changed me. Or rather, the Lord has used Costa Rica to change me. I have learned so much here, grown so much here, been humbled so much here. The Lord has taught me of hospitality, simplicity, brotherly love, sympathy, selflessness, servitude, peculiarity, His greatness, and so much more through the beautiful, funny, sweet, and thoughtful people of Costa Rica. I've learned how much more I still need to learn. I've learned how much more I still need to grow. And I've learned that there is much work for me to accomplish to become the woman He would have me to be. Above all though, I've learned that "He is my everything." And in such knowledge, I am content.
There are things about the U.S. that I dearly miss. I miss being around Christians more frequently. I miss my family more than I can say. I miss my friends. I miss going places and not being stared at, not feeling different, and not hearing cat-calls and whistles. I miss normal breakfast foods, tex-mex, and good meat. I miss being able to walk out the door without an umbrella. I miss yards. I miss being able to walk places after dark and having the sun stay out later than six o' clock. Yes, I miss dear Texas quite a bit.
But I also know that when I return, I'm going to miss Costa Rica. I'll miss the church here. I'll miss my dear madre. I'll miss the ease of walking places and hopping on a bus to anywhere in the country. I'll miss speaking Spanish all the time. I'll miss the cool weather, the mountains, and the beaches. I'll miss coffee and fruit. I'll miss afternoon cafecito. I'll miss eating rice with every meal. I'll miss the simplicity of life here. I'll miss the diversity and beauty of the nature surrounding me. I'll miss being around sweet and funny Ticos all the time. Yes, I'm going to miss dear Costa Rica quite a bit.
However, as strange as it is to always be missing things about different places, I've learned that wherever I am, I can be content. Be I in Texas or Costa Rica, surrounded by the Lord's people or alone, single or in a relationship, with happiness or sadness, well or sick, tired or rested, viewing poverty or plenty, loved or ignored, I am a child of the Father. The Lord is with me. And I will want for nothing.
"When my heart was embittered
And I was pierced within,
Then I was senseless and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You have taken hold of my right hand.
With Your counsel You will guide me,
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works." -Psalm 73
I have been embittered of heart before. I am sometimes senseless and ignorant, like a beast before my Lord. Yet He is faithful to guide me with His council, to take hold of me with His hand, to be with me when I feel utterly alone. And as I grow in Him, I learn just how much the "nearness of God is my good." I cannot imagine living life without the Lord as my refuge. Sometimes He has to remind me to be content. Sometimes I stumble. Yet I long for contentment. I want so badly to be like Paul who suffered much yet still said:
"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." - Phil 4
And when I struggle with contentment, I rejoice that Paul gives us the "secret" to contentment: that we can do all things through Him who gives us strength. I am content when He is the desire of my heart. I am content when my eyes are fixed on Him, the author and perfecter of my faith. I am content when His nearness is my good. For, when I consider Him, I do not grow weary. And I have peace.
I don't know where life, or rather the Lord, will take me. Yet wherever I am, though struggles and heartaches may abound and though I may be missing other places, I can serve God. I can serve others. I can love. There is much that I desire in life: a husband, children, ways to serve, friendships, love, family. But rather the Lord grants much or little, He has given me the greatest blessing in Himself and in His salvation. He is my greatest desire. And with Him as my everything, I can be content. I can want for nothing. For you see, I walk in green pastures and beside still waters. Even when I'm in brown, drought-ridden Texas. And that, I think, is the greatest blessing of all. And it's pretty amazing.
So that's life now. Enjoying Costa Rica. Missing Texas. Learning about contentment. I'd say that's a pretty good combination, huh? What are you learning about where you're at in life? As always, I love learning from y'all! And hearing about life in the States. :)
May everyone have a blessed and happy Monday night!
Pura vida!
