1) None of my students can say my last name. When they first heard it they all laughed. Stewart really isn't that strange of a name but nevertheless they find it hilarious. It's usually pronounced roughly like so: Mees Es-TU-war. I'm usually called Miss or Maestra.
2) Ninjagos are the bane of my existence. Ninjagos are everywhere. Ninjago books. Ninjago shirts. Ninjago toys. Ninjago games. If I had a dollar for every Ninjago I've confiscated I would be a very rich woman. And if you aren't an elementary age boy, or aren't friends with an elementary age boy, you probably don't have a clue what Ninjagos are. Here's an example:
3) Student 1: Ms. Stewart you're a mom, right?
Me: No, why?
Student 1: Oh, Student 2 said you are.
Me: Confused look.
4) Student looking at me during lunch: Oh Ms. Stewart! You have on your blue eyes today!
Me: Haha yes I have on my blue eyes every day!
5) Bus duty after school:
Student: Dancing around the hall while chanting "booty hopscotch"
Me: Sit down. Now.
Student: No! Booty Hopscotch!
Me: Yes. Sit down. Now. *gives a teacher look the likes of which would kill daisies and sunshine and every good thing.
Student: Stares back. Trembles under my stare. Slowly lowers eyes and sits down.
Me: *Does a silent inner victory dance to the tune of booty hopscotch*
6) Student: Ms. Stewart, can we write this paper in curses?
Me: *Mind racing, surely this sweet student isn't wanting to write curse words...* *lightbulb*
Me: Ohh you mean write in cursive? Yes you may.
7) Student: Ms. Stewart, are you still a student?
Me: Yes, I go to college.
Me: Yes, I go to college.
Student: You need to get a job.
Me: I know, that's why I'm going to school.
Student: You still need to get a job.
8) Me: *Collecting computers so that technology can add some programs to them.
Student 1: No! Don't take my computer! Why are you taking my computer, Miss?!?!
Later that day...
Student 1 to Student 2: (whisper voice) That's the teacher that took my computer.
9) Student: *Playing with action figure toy instead of working while furtively glancing in my direction.
Me: *Stares at student.
Student: *Glances in my direction, moves toy further under desk.
Me: *Walks over to student and holds hand out.
Student: *Hands toy over while looking sad.
(this happens about fifty billion times a day; usually with ninjagos.)
10) Me: *Talking to student* I like your hair today!
Student: *Goes into a lengthy description of exactly the type of hair spray he used. It's new after all and he saw it on a commercial!
And so ends teaching quotes for the night. Stay tuned for more.
This is why I love teaching.
Well, one of the reasons at least.
